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Gabe Kapler, Cake, and What Not To Do When You’re Getting Swept By The Dodgers

The Dodgers and Giants got together for a pleasant Thursday day game that had everything.

Like, I get what Gabe Kapler is saying about cake. But at the end of the day, it’s just cake, man.

Perhaps a little context is in order.

Prior to Thursday’s game with the Los Angeles Dodgers, San Francisco Giants’ resident Adonis and full-time manager, Kapler, spoke with reporters.

The subject of his birthday came up. More specifically, that of the birthday cake. And for those of you who don’t know, the birthday cake is that delicious dessert that is lit aflame once a year, giving its recipient an opportunity to blow out candles and make a wish.

At no point, unless your parties are different, is someone force-fed the cake like some goose-led foie gras expedition.

Basically, what I’m saying is I’ve never given a whole lot of thought to the subject of birthday cake. Kapler, a better man than me, has.

We’ll come back to the cake situation. But first, we have to address the game, which ended in a Dodgers win, 5-3, and another four-game sweep.

Nothing happens in a vacuum, even in the month of August in MLB. So what should have been a forgettable game got some melodrama with pitcher Jarlín García striking out a couple of Dodgers and mocking L.A.’s celebratory hit dap.

This caught the ire of Mookie Betts, which subsequently got the umpire to say something to Garcia. Then Kapler, who hasn’t touched a carb since 2015, went bananas.

This is all to say that, folks, eat your cake. You might be on a diet or want to drape yourself in personal freedom. But not eating cake can really turn your day on its head so we suggest that anytime you are offered the stuff, you oblige.