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When It Comes to Fantasy Football, Tommy Pham Is The Worst

Important questions demand time and effort. Thanks to Tommy Pham and Joc Pederson, we have MLB's greatest controversy to solve.

There’s an important question that needs to be asked. It’s a subject that deserves a deep dive into the very depths of the human condition.

Is Tommy Pham, like, the worst fantasy player in the world?

Sometimes the best part of any season is the dumbest part of said season. And this fantasy football kerfuffle between Joc Pederson and Tommy Pham is so juicy they should charge $15 an ounce and sell it out of a hipster spot in Venice.

By now we have a rough idea of what led to Pham slapping Pederson before the Cincinnati Reds took on the San Francisco Giants on Friday, May 27.

At the time, we were all gobsmacked because, honestly, who slaps someone outside of a Hollywood awards ceremony? In any case, details began to quickly surface.

Pederson, for his part, was wonderfully candid about the situation.

The Giants slugger explains that Pham kinda went from slow simmer to sizzle quickly upon their encounter last week.

"It was a surprise," Pederson explained about the slap, via ESPN. "There was no real argument. He kind of came up and said, 'Like, I don't know if you remember from last year.' And I was like, 'Fantasy football.' He was like, 'Yeah.'"

After that, things should have become an argument or, in a completely sane world, onto things that, you know, mattered.

Instead, Pham slapped him. So what gives? The Athletic did a great job rounding things up nicely.

The two were in a fantasy football league with Mike Trout, who Pham contends was a horrible commissioner.

So it seems there was a $10,000 buy-in to the league, which also mandated the last-place team kick in another ten large. Pham, however, actually quit the league before the end of the season. He did tell reporters that he was in second at the time.

Pederson POV:

“And then there’s a text message in the group saying that I was cheating because I was stashing players on my bench. And then I looked up the rules, sent a screenshot of the rules, and how it says that when a player is ruled out, you’re allowed to put him on the IR and that’s all I was doing. And then it just so happened that he had a player, Jeff Wilson, who was out, and he had him on the IR. I said you literally have the same thing on your team, on your bench. And then I guess he was in two leagues, and one of them he was on the IR and one of them he wasn’t. So maybe that was the confusion.”

Wilson was out for the first nine weeks of the season. So Pederson “stashed” him in keeping with how countless other leagues behave.

Pham’s POV:

Pham contends that “I looked at it like he was fucking with my money along with the disrespect.”

The disrespect was posting memes like the one below to the league’s thread.

It’s here where we realize that perhaps the thing that could have ended this all was one simple solution. Pham needed a hug.

The rest of Pham’s explanation seems to jibe with what Pederson has said, at least in terms of specifics. This points to a dispute that doesn’t really paint Pham in all that great a light.

Let's count the ways.

1: He quit a money league after the season started and did so, in his words, when he was in second.

2: He has subsequently thrown Trout under the bus for being a bad commish despite Trout not wanting the gig.

3: He was mad about something that seems in keeping with the rules. And was still upset despite not being in the league.

4: He allegedly pulled the same move.

5: He was upset over an innocuous meme. I mean the only person mad should be the woman who took a weight to the face

6: He held a grudge for an obscene amount of time

7: He went full Will Smith. And you never go full Will Smith.

In the end, we are all better and dumber for this telenovela that played out. It may have been the lamest thing to happen on a baseball field but the fallout has been so delicious you almost need two napkins to sop up the juices.

In the end, I’ve concluded that, yes, Pham is indeed the worst player in the world, slightly below that guy who doesn’t check on his team all season and still finishes just out of the playoffs.