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Last Halloween Candies in the Bucket

We're eating these ones last, if at all.

Most things in life are a matter of taste. People can’t – won’t – agree on a favorite sports team, much less a favorite TV show. And it stands to reason that, with Halloween coming, people will also disagree on what their favorite Halloween candy is. But, it’s still easy to pick out the ones at the bottom of the list, the ones that, as we empty out that bucket on Halloween night, kids and adults alike will be eating last, or perhaps saving.

Halloween candy you save is Halloween candy you didn’t really like. Those are the rules. And if we’re saving anything, it might just be these ones.

Smarties

If we wanted chalk, we’d just eat chalk. And if wanted a distinctly Tums-like flavor, we’d probably just eat Tums. This is the type of candy you get just to say that you have a lot of candy to give out because you are perfectly aware no one really likes it, but it’ll stretch out the amount of candy you have to give out. And it’ll make your haul look better too, even if you know you won’t really be eating them.

Candy Corn

This candy has its fans, as well as its detractors, but even those who really love it would probably not pick it first while looking at their Halloween bucket. It’s just … an acquired taste, to say the least. And it’s not one you typically acquire as a kid. Some adults, however, might be hoping every kid balks at them so they can keep them all.

Banana Laffy Taffy

Why do they keep making this flavor if absolutely no one likes it? Is it just sadism? You want the good Laffy Taffy, you have to put up with the banana flavor? Maybe it’s a social experiment to see how much we’re willing to put up with for the candy we do like. If so, then it is working, because we still love Laffy Taffy …even if we hate the banana-flavored one.

Raisinets

Raisinets are not candy. Period. They’re an excuse to trick children into eating something “healthy.” But kids aren’t tricked, and adults who like raisins will just …eat raisins, so covering them in chocolate is unnecessary.

Anything that isn’t actually candy

Halloween is for candy. Actual, unhealthy, processed candy. None of that pretzels or fruit or homemade healthy variations. No, Halloween is the one day a year we allow ourselves to gorge on all the candy we want, and we don’t want to be tricked into eating healthy stuff during our one cheat day. We deserve candy. Real candy. Period.