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Thanksgiving Food You’re Kicking Out of Bed

There are so many better options.

Thanksgiving is about food. It’s also about family and celebrating the good things life has given us, but deep down …it’s mostly about food. Family antics, football games, and shopping madness aside, the one thing that can make or break the day is having the right things to eat. And in the same vein, there are some classic Thanksgiving dishes that don’t quite do it. Even if we have to put up with them year after year, after year.

So, it’s time to make the argument for the worst Thanksgiving food. You don’t have to agree, we all have our favorites. But we do have our reasons for our picks. And they are good reasons if we do say so ourselves.

Green bean casserole

This dish feels like it’s only part of the dinner so moms across the United States can say there were vegetables involved in dinner. Except the vegetables are kind of disguised, just in case you don’t like them. The problem is, if you do like veggies, the disguise kinda sucks. And if you don’t, well the disguise isn’t nearly enough.

Pumpkin Pie

It’s not that there’s anything horrible about pumpkin pie, it’s just that there are so many better pies than pumpkin pie. Why do we even have it? Is it because it’s supposed to be a fall staple? Are we so married to aesthetics we cannot commit to tastier, better-looking pies? Let’s leave pumpkins for Halloween and have a blueberry pie instead.


Coleslaw can taste well, but it can also taste horribly, and it has the peculiarity that it truly doesn’t go with anything. What do you pair with coleslaw? Nothing immediately comes to mind, which is why it’s one of those things that tends to just …stay on the table. And even those who actually enjoy it are unlikely to come back for second helpings of that.


But does the turkey really need stuffing for anything other than the picture? We don’t need to eat it, truly. Almost everything else on the table, including basically all sides, will not just taste better, but have better texture. And even the leftover stuffing that wasn’t actually in the turkey isn’t that good, because stuffing is just …well, that.

Cranberry Sauce

Love it or hate it, cranberry sauce is a Thanksgiving staple. The problem with it is that it doesn’t always make sense with the turkey. You have to like a specific combination of flavors for it to work. Also, the only good cranberry sauce is homemade cranberry sauce, but preparing a Thanksgiving dinner is already hard enough without making your own cranberry sauce. So, chances are, you just got a can of the stuff. And …if you did, then, do you really need it?